(Photo by Lauren Taylor)

Hello. This is the page about me and my background. If that’s not what you’re looking for then look away now.

Here is the biog bit. Of English and Romanian descent, I grew up in 'Metroland', in a little place called Chesham. If you don’t know Chesham, it’s the tiny commuter town right at one of the most far-flung reaches of the Metropolitan Line (the bumpy one). Two interesting facts about Chesham are that 1) Stephen Fry lived there as a young’un, and 2) Until recently, Chesham laid claim to hosting the only McDonald's in Britain to make a 2% loss each year. Sadly McD's Chezzam closed down in 2005. Still, I'm proud (ish) to say I did have my first job there when I was 15, along with my brother, my best friend Lauren Taylor and her brother. (It was a small town. There wasn’t much going on work-wise).

Hideous though it was, without those nights spent chip-shovelling and repeating the
'would-you-like-that-as-a-value-meal,-it-will-save-you-15pence?' mantra,
it's safe to say I probably wouldn't have been able to go to
Birmingham University to study English and Philosophy.

And then I probably wouldn’t have been able to
work for Random House part-time while I was
there. And then I wouldn’t have got a job there
after graduating, where I got to write shout-lines
for authors, stick giant books on billboards, and
devise stunts with red beetles around London
in the name of Super Good Days. And then I
wouldn’t have read so very many manuscripts,
or learned as much as I did about how to write
and market books. And then I probably wouldn’t
have had the guts to try and write one of my
own. And then I wouldn’t have met my lovely
agent. Or dared to show it to an editor. And then
I certainly wouldn’t have gone speed-dating.
And then Step on it, Cupid and Lost for Words
would probably not have happened, and then
this page you’re looking at would probably
not have been here.

So thanks, Ron, you big ridiculous clown man.